A letter to my 45 year old self...

NOTE: I wrote the following in my journal back in January. So I could remember what my life was like at 35. When my babies are little--because in 10 years I'm sure I will forget.

Wanted to share it with y'all tonight.

Dear 45 year old self,

Just a few things I want you to remember in this season of your life. Your babies are 3, 2, and 4 months  old. 

IT IS BUSY. 

Some days we thrive. Other days we limp. 

But, we make it.

Your boys are in these incredible stages...

Easton just wants to learn. And try everything on his own. He can dress himself from head to toe and MAMA...you thought you had arrived! 

Now, you only have to dress 3 people each morning! 

Easton loves to be silly and say silly things. "Peanut" is as silly as it gets but that one word can make him and Linc dissolve into giggles for a good while. 

Speaking of Lincoln, he just wants to please. 

AND eat. 

1st at the table-last to leave. 

His hunting skills improve everyday. He is silent, but so sweet.

 He's smile melts everyone's hearts. 

With that said, when did he stop coming to sleep in our bed??

Knightley is just about to be able to grab his toes with his hands. He tries so hard. He is at such a smiley stage. And so talkative. 

No worries, Mama. 

You take moments just to hold him. 

Just to breathe him in. 

Sometimes, you even leave the dishes for the morning so you can just be with your baby.

Your world is small these days. 

You don't get away very often. 

But, it's okay. 

You realize this is just a season. 

And through every season you have highs and lows. 

Good and bad. 

You try to look at the good and forget the bad. 

Sometimes it works. 

Sometimes you forget.

Some of the good these days are:

1. Slow mornings. Kids don't have to rush out the door to school. 

We relax. 

And play. 

And enjoy the morning.

2. The snuggles. 

All your babies still love to snuggle in the morning upon waking up.

3. EARLY BEDTIME!!! 

Once the boys go to bed most nights you do also-JUST TO THINK! 

Quiet and PEACE!

You should see how Wil and I communicate.

 It's a riot to even complete a full sentence but somehow we make it work.

And I could add more, but it's 9:15pm and I am fighting staying awake!!

You are living your dream. 

A WIFE AND MOTHER!

And, even though you would LOVE 8 hours ALL.TO.YOURSELF most days you never sit, because if you did rooms would explode in 5 minutes flat.

You enjoy your life.

And, try, daily to notice the things that won't be here 10 years from now.

Still tell your boys, "You will be mighty in GOD someday!"

Because, they will.

Trust me.

We got this.

Avrie turns ONE!

A year ago today my brother became a father.

I watched with my own eyes how he grew up a bit more that day.

And I couldn't of been prouder.

Saturday, the boys and I drove down to JP and Tasha's house for Avrie's birthday party! 

What a party it was!!

My sister in love is amazing. 

She can pretty much do anything.

(and...I may have just hired her to do my kids' birthday parties for the rest of their lives!)

We had so much fun...and Avrie was a doll. 

They welcomed us right away with a photo shoot!

No one is as sweet as Avrie. She was such a Princess and was just so sweet ALL DAY. 

Props to her! 

My mom loves to laugh. And so do I. We had so much fun dressing up Knightley. 

And the kid played along!!

Introducing: Mr. Knightley

We all had so much fun playing along. I think all the props were perfect!

My boys had a blast and loved trying on glasses. 

 Cake time! She didn't understand blowing out the candles.....

 But she did understand that ONE cupcake was JUST for her!!!!

At the end of the party, I told my kids they could have candy if they took a pic with all the kids there.

(Mom of the year is what you're thinking I am sure!)

Linc's glasses are the most fought over ones...because both he and E feel they look like Titus Brown in them!
(Family friend!)

This kid. I am sure he will pick my nursing home and these pictures will NOT be in my favor. BUT, I still laugh EVERY TIME!

Good GIRL! Get that cupcake!

Best cousins. 

Happy 1st birthday, Avrie!

So glad we got to be apart of your BIG day! We love you so much and PROMISE to protect you ALL the days of our lives!!

~THE NOLT COUSINS~

Brave is Beautiful!

The word BRAVE is used often in our house. I have 3 sons. We constantly are Super Heros saving the world. 

But, sometimes. When real life happens, my boys will tell me they are not brave. 

Instead, they are scared.

When they bring their fears up, I tell them what most Mama's tell their children. 

You are brave when you face your fears. 

This past week, I have watched BRAVE unfold all around me.

Little moments:

Knightley letting go of my fingers to stand by himself for the 1st time.

Lincoln jumping into the water.

Easton trying green beans.

BRAVE. 

I confess. I don't think of myself as brave. I like comfortable. 

Easy. 

Smooth.

But, lately, I have seen BRAVE take flight. 

My sister and her husband have announced on Wednesday night that they are in the works of adopting. 

After 3 years of trying to have a baby naturally, they found out they struggle with infertility.

For a while they hid it between themselves. Only sharing part of their story with close friends. 

And, over time had to face some hard talks. 

And next steps.

6 years ago, I lost a baby. And, it took me months to get pregnant again. I remember the heartache. The questions. 

And being BRAVE.

See, being brave isn't what my boys think brave is. 

It's not "NO FEAR EVER. ALWAYS LOOK TOGETHER. NEVER WAVERING."

Brave is:

Learning to be real with others and tell them your fears.

It's facing cancer head-on.

It's walking a valley you don't see the end of yet.

It's choosing to HOPE.

It's sharing your struggles, joys, and dreams.

It's telling YOUR story. So others hear.

It's being real, raw, and authentic. 

BRAVE: To do things in the most difficult times.

This week, when Libby and Isaac announced their plans to adopt from Thailand I watched two young people be brave. 

To share their story. 

To allow others to come along side and partner with them in this journey.

And it brought me to tears.

This story.

This baby.

This family.

Being brave together.

Brave is HEARING and KNOWING the CALL of GOD on your life and following it. 

Even when it would be so much easier to do your own plan, dream your own dreams.

This story:

The one God is writing for Ike and Lib...

Is gonna have a beautiful ending. Full of GRACE and TRUTH.

This baby:

Is HAND PICKED.

HEAVEN SENT.

And will know LOVE.

This family:

Their story will change lives.

Touch hearts.

And make people become BRAVE.

Friends, we each have a story. 

Maybe we are not adopting, but we are facing a time in our life to be BRAVE.

Take FAITH. God has a PLAN. He called you to walk YOUR PATH. He will LEAD you where YOU need to go, tell you what you need to say, and be there to pick up the pieces.  Share YOUR story. Show others your journey. 

AND BE BRAVE.

After all,

BRAVE IS BEAUTIFUL.

Follow Ike and Lib's journey at Miles to Eden. 

Watch their video.

Read their blog.

Support their cause.

Pray for their journey.

Share their story.

BE BRAVE.

A birth story: Knightley Phillips Nolt

Oh Knightley,
 You birth was a wonderful experience. One that was so full of happiness and anticipation. It felt like the world was watching and waiting to see when you would come. Lots of prayers were prayed in the upcoming days before your arrival. And, through it all, God walked every step with us.

The story starts 6 days after my due date. We arrive at the Dr's office for a FULL day of testing.

Ultrasound. Non-stress test. OB appointment.

We got into the OB appointment and he said that if I didn't go into labor by Monday morning, he would induce me. 

And so, induction was set. 

When he said those words, a peace came over me. God knew. He was with me. Despite all my efforts of going into labor, God was in control and He had a birthday picked out for this baby. 

I had been induced with Easton. And it wasn't pretty. 

Lincoln was 6 days late, and came on his own.

I knew, deep in my heart, that I wouldn't go on my own with this baby. And, God was asking me to face a fear and make it a full circle moment. 

So began my walk of faith for the birth of this baby.

Wil and I arrived at the hospital around 6 am. By 9 am, my parents showed up and not a whole lot of things were happening. Just a waiting game. Wil and my dad even went out for breakfast! (They had that planned!) 

Around 11 am, I had a huge contraction. At that moment, I asked for an epidural. I have done natural births and pitocin births. They are not the same. 

And just like that...life was good.

Around 1:45 pm, my dad and Wil went to Wal-mart. Around 2:15 the Dr told me to text Wil and have him come back....the baby was coming soon. 

Wil walked in right as they were getting ready for the baby to come!

At 2:41 p.m. on his BIG brother, Lincoln's 2nd birthday, Knightley Phillips Nolt was born.

He was perfect. 

1st bath. He wasn't a fan.

He warmed up to the idea.

Meeting his cousin, Avrie!

Big brothers meeting Knightley!

The 2 birthday boys!

Meeting Aunt Beka!

Loving on Daddy!

Tristan kept saying, "I thought he was a girl!" 

The Nolt family

Blessed beyond measure!

My Mr. Knightley!

Even 4 months later I get teary eyed when I think about Knightley's birth. And, how even looking at the stats: 10 days late. Induction. Pitocin. Epidural. Big baby (9 pounds 6 oz.) it doesn't look promising. But, I serve a faithful God. And He was with me every step of the way!!!

Praising Him for our sweet little boy...

What Joy Knightley brings to our lives! We are blessed!!