My "other" little man

Most of you know I have two of the sweetest boys out there. They are my world and there isn't a day that goes by that I THANK GOD for them and then PRAY I raise them right....

BUT, there is another little boy out that that steals my heart. And his name is TRISTAN FOX.

Tristan is my sister, Beka's little boy. He's 6 months older than my Easton. And here is my story...

After I had my miscarriage, I wanted so badly to be pregnant again. I lost that baby in September, and in the following months I was getting depressed. I was praying and begging God for a baby. During that time in prayer, God told my mother (yep...not me...my mom) that I would have a baby--IN HIS TIME. So while I was praying asking God to let me know when I was going to have a baby God told me this: Beka would have a baby before me. I didn't share this with anyone--but kept it in my heart.

Around January, Beka called me one night and told me she was pregnant. No one knew but a few. She wanted me to be one of the 1st to know and I was SUPER excited for her. Someone asked me, "Did you cry when you learned that she got pregnant before you?" I responded, "NO NOT AT ALL! I was SOOO happy!" And I honestly was...because I KNEW that even though I wasn't pregnant with my own child, I would LOVE her baby (boy or girl) like my own.

When Tristan was born, I have NEVER felt such love for any baby in my life. The love was REAL. RAW. And full of emotion. I almost moved in with my sister and her husband to protect this baby. I didn't want to share him with anyone...because he was healing my heart.

I hate to say this, but, T wasn't the best baby. (ask Beka.) In fact, he was work. And not like your typical infant work....this baby was W.O.R.K. More so than any other baby I'd ever seen. But, I loved him and he loved me. So day after day, I'd find excuses to go visit Tristan and Beka. I'd clean their kitchen, fold their clothes, check their closets for hiding visitors. (true story)

He cried every time I sang a song to him. (when your sister sings like mine--I'd cry too if anyone else tried to sing to me) but--I could rock him to sleep and the only other person who could do that was his Mama. He was born wanting to walk, eat real food, and thought sleep was for babies. But, he was the most beautiful baby I'd seen--and was a KEEPER.

T and I were bonded...and just to seal that bond, I gave birth to his BFF cousin, Easton.

It's been a little over 2 years now. I'm busy with my own babies that it's hard to get one-on-one time with T. Plus, he and Easton love to play so I'm kind of like the 2nd fiddle in the group. I bring them snacks, press play on their movie, and help them overcome their "MINE" moments.

But--today--there was magic.

We were at church, and T didn't want to be in the nursery. I was sitting in my pew and T was sitting playing with his daddy's iphone. He looked at me while we were singing and he started talking to me. I'd wave...and he kept talking. It could of been about anything. Eva-Easton-Lincoln-Hadassah. Anything. Finally, I held up my arms to him and he came running. When I picked him up, that raw emotion came RUNNING back just like the day he was born.

I had missed him. He's my other little man--the one that I don't get to play with very much. But, for the remainder of worship he was mine. I held him in his little skinny jeans, as he watched Wall-e on the iphone. We sat and I fed him snacks (the way to get to his heart) and finally, he asked for Easton. So we headed downstairs.

Holding him, I almost cried. It had been TOO long for us to not share a moment. My little man is 2. He's talking so much and is learning words to read and count and working on being potty-trained. He's a little man now--a wonderful toddler--and as cute as can be. He loves adventure and all things pixar. He says the cutest things and makes me laugh. He loves to boss Easton and loves all things trains.

He is growing up so fast I can't believe it. We have a bond--T and I--he made me an aunt and I take that job very seriously.

I KNOW God has a BIG plan for Tristan Fox...and I'll be sitting in the wings watching it unfold.

Tristan...God has a plan for your life and I will be such a happy Aunt watching you grow into the man God has called you to be!

Tristan on Christmas Eve with his family. 

Spark-less

I know.
2 posts in 2 days.
Is this a streak?
Who knows. But. I've got something to write...and my son is napping, and my Manly Man is working and can't listen.
So...I take the next big thing.
My Blog.

After 2 days of thinking and reflecting...I have figured something out about myself....
I am spark-less.
Now, don't jump all over and get worried. Don't call my mother.
It happens from time to time. And I have figured it out....

Let's go back....a year ago.

A year ago I was HERE. 
A TERRIBLE place to be. But, I recovered. And don't even miss my gall bladder.
After that, I let my creative juices start to flow. I found great deals on things and updated them and now have them in my house.

All fall and into winter I did this....Create. Create. Create.
I LOVE who I am when I am creating. Things come alive to me that I never thought would...and I LOVE it.

Then, in Nov. we moved to our NEW house.
MORE creating. I had to pick out paint and our great Master's team came and painted my whole house...from top to bottom. (and some great friends came too)

Christmas came.
MOOOOORE creating. I was in the kitchen baking.
Decorating my OWN house.
Enjoying Easton's 1st Christmas.
Making presents.
Wrapping presents.

And then...I got pregnant.

No, pregnancy isn't a bad thing. And we planned on getting pregnant. But, my body completely changes when I get pregnant.
I lose Spark.
I crave SLEEP.
I don't care.
I let things go {living room. kitchen. closets. crafts.}
Little things slide. {small things that build good qualities in my baby}
And, I lose myself.

Now, don't cry. It's just a season. Losing yourself can be hard...but I have learned in the past that I do find myself again. But it does take time.

And, it usually doesn't come back until 3 months after labor.
{Sigh}

But, it does come back.

It might even come back sooner...because today I realized that SOMETHING is MISSING.
And it's my SPARK.
Things that make me MORE creative.
More enjoyable.

I told my Manly Man today...(while he was listening) my head and heart are missing being creative...
My body is not. I'm just STILL too tired to start something new.
{Sigh}

And so...My talented SISTER and our BFF RUTH ANN and myself are taking a little GIRLS' WEEKEND GET AWAY. Well...kind of. A friend of ours is getting married in Mississippi. (The state...not the river...many get confused.) and my Sis is the Photographer for the wedding. I am coming along to hold my sweet new {and only} neice LIVIA while her mama works. And, Ruth Ann is coming---just because!

So, while there will be MUCH baby holding...and lazy days in Mississippi...I plan to FIND my spark.
I may even wander into a Jo Anns, or Hobby Lobby and just breathe.

So...next week if you see me painting flowers and rainbows on our house...I FOUND it...and just needed an outlet to create!

Oh...to create!

31 Days of Summer DAY 2

Today was a beautiful morning full of storm clouds and slight rain. Easton and I woke at the same time of 7:30am and braved ourselves for the day. Right away, I noticed that Easton seemed to be upset. And, I would find out SOON that cutting teeth...HURTS. But, that's a later story...and here's DAY 2 of our SUMMER FUN....

Last summer I DREAMED about freezing corn. The WHOLE summer that's all I wanted to do. Save the juicy mouth-watering goodness of Iowa's claim to fame and freeze it. THEN, in the winter months, when snow is higher than your car, leaving the house would be the worst idea ever, and above freezing is just a dream--you could take out your frozen sweet corn YOU GREW in YOUR garden and make some soup and eat some delicious Iowa sweet corn and melt all your worries away. (and maybe some snow)

But, surprise, I got pregnant, and the thing I COULD NOT handle ever...was the TASTE of sweet corn. Ugh. Such a terrible, horrible, cruel twist of fate. And so, corn season ended with me eating 1 cob...and NO corn in my freezer. I was sad the WHOLE winter.

This summer, I'm NOT pregnant and I am eating it as fast as we can get it. (Making up for last summer!) AND TODAY, with my friend, Ruth Ann and her super cute kids, we "did" some sweet corn. We started around 9am (Ruth Ann was up WAAAAY earlier doing all the work I just showed up...to take pictures!) But, the corn got done!

YUM. Ready to eat.
Letting it get cold. Oh the fun we had.

We worked on corn outside til the rain ran us back inside. BUT, by lunch we had LOTS of corn DONE and in the freezer. Just waiting for winter to come. (Riiiight. Not yet!)

Easton and I headed home around noon and it became apparent to me that he was NOT having a good day. So, the afternoon consisted of hugs, cuddles, and singing with mommy. Poor little boy--teeth can be a real pain. Or lack of teeth can be a real pain too. He slept poorly, ate poorly, cried very well, and just wanted his mommy. We took it easy and I even let him watch 15 mins of Clifford the Big Red Dog. He loved it.

Then, after supper we had a bridal shower to attend. My dearest friend, Brook is marrying the love of her life, Joel. Brook and I go way back to grade school and Joel and I go way back to last summer when Brook told me she met a guy. They are getting married in NEXT month and I'm honored to be a Bridesmaid. So...an evening with the girls is ALWAYS in order!

The CUTE (but blurry) centerpieces. I must stop and tell you that Joel works at a coffee shop and Brook LOVES her coffee. (AND HER MAN, but has always loved her coffee) So, it just seems fitting that Brook marry a man that knows how to make some good coffee. And the theme for the bridal shower became THE PERFECT BLEND. With coffee and coffee-y foods served to the guests. (Joel wasn't there to make the drinks...BUT wouldn't of THAT been cute!?

Our head table...With "scrabble" pieces saying BROOK AND JOEL. (Brook's family is a BIG scrabble family...they even have TRAVEL SCRABBLE and go to coffee shops and play.) Joel also taught them SPEED SCRABBLE and so, just another reason it's a match made in Heaven. Be looking for them at coffee shops near you!

Sad, but true fact: Brook is moving 5 hours away from me to MN. WAAAY up north. I think back in high school when she'd go on vacation there for a week--I'd go nuts. AND NOW, she's moving there. Yes, Brook and her family have vacationed in Joel's hometown for YEARS. AND just last summer---they met for the 1st time. Sweet story. Falling in love on vacation. Another reason to love summer. Ahhh.

Close up of the wall...I mean, talent. Pure, talent.

AND, for all you foodie's out there...we have some wonderful delish scones. Straight from Joel's coffee shop. Took some leftovers home with me and WILL be having one for breakfast in the morning. Yum!

Cute little table decs. Coffee pot with flowers. Really. They DO think of everything.

AND for your viewing pleasure...my iced coffee. I blame this little guy right here for me sitting up after 11pm with my whole living room SPOTLESSLY clean and me just dying to start doing something else. WIDEAWAKE. Me. But, let me tell you...that drink was totally worth it. Yum. And this is coming from a NON COFFEE drinker. I try so hard. SO hard to like coffee. But, I can't. BUT, this iced stuff...gets.me.every.time. It's my 1 coffee drink. One day I will be grown up enough to like coffee. Til then, iced tea with extra ice, please.

My poor little boy with his very 1st terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. Had I owned the book we would have read it together. They should have added a part in there about cutting teeth so E and I could relate. Can you see in his eyes he doesn't feel good? Yet, as my son can only do, at the shower, he smiled and laughed and cooed at all the girls and everyone couldn't believe he had a bad day.
Trust me. I wanted to take his pain for him. Sad.

My sister and her little boy Tristan. She was introducing herself and T and the WHOLE time T thought it was his turn to talk. I was laughing so hard. He really does have some great ideas...if only we could understand them. I laughed and laughed at him...he melts my heart! I have to say that I'm SO proud of this picture because it captures him perfectly!

Finally with the Bride herself..Poor E was just kind of thrown in with his belly hanging out. But, this is Brook and we had a lovely time at her shower. She is the dearest friend a girl could ask for and I LOVE being apart of her life.

And so, it's waaay past this girl's bedtime and tomorrow is another fun-filled SUMMER day. My coffee is slowly leaving me and I'm off to get some sleep!

SUMMER Goals!

Each summer I set goals for myself. I write them in May, and TRY to hold on to them TIL Fall. SO, hoping THIS post will keep me MORE accountable here are my SUMMER GOALS!

PERSONAL GOALS:

1. Always be reading a book.
2. Learn to RUN this house WELL!
3. Garden/flowers
4. Enjoy Easton as a baby!

SOCIAL GOALS:

1. Invite people over for dinner/cookouts/fun

2. Mini-mops
3. Spend time at the pool


PHYSICAL GOALS:

1. Curves 3x a week
2. Some sort of exercise 3x a week
3. Lots of FRESH/LOCAL veges and fruits
4. Get outside

SPIRITUAL GOALS:
1. Make Friday Prayer a priority
2. Finish Uncommon woman/Insecure/Praying wife books
3. Keep my devotions up and memorize Psalms 91 and Phil 1
4. Prayer and devos with Wil


These are my goals. Feel free to ask me from time to time how I'm doing with them. I HOPE to post more this summer about WHAT I've accomplished with each goal.

What are YOUR goals for the summer?

Turbo Jam...and me.

Every summer our school's volleyball starts their pre-season workout. This summer...Turbo Jam. The coach opens it up to all of our church members and today I thought I should try it.

It was SOOOOO much fun! I'm NOT a very big fan of working out. Never have been. But this got me moving and I didn't feel like I was really working out. (until the abs...YIKES!)



Friday there is another session and I can't make it...But I thought that if I make it TWO times a week to the turbo jam class...that's a good start.

My body is going to ache tomorrow! I can feel it! But, that's ok by me!

A new season...

Summertime...Magic words of teachers all over this nation. But, this teacher...this word is taking on a new meaning. Come this Friday, my "teachering" days will be over. Life seems to always change and after 7 years of teaching...life is changing again.

My husband and I decided in the fall that I this would be my final year of teaching. We planned on starting a family and me staying home.

So...this week is my last week of school. How do I feel? Happy, sad, ready for the school year to be over. Doesn't seem nothing has changed.

I'm sure in the fall it will hit me harder. But for now, change is good. I'm excited to be HOME. Clean my house in the morning, not RUSH out the door at 7:20 to be at school. I'm excited to get to know my Mennonite sister-in-laws better-to go to garage sales on a Friday-to attend prayer meeting-to have free day and do nothing if that is how I feel.

Summer has always been so fun to me. I love the freedom I feel.

I can't wait to see what my next season brings!