Brothers

There are few things I know about in life. There are millions of things I don't know about and wish I did.  Growing up with 2 sisters and 1 brother--I got the sister thing. LOVE having sisters. Love it. Although they were much younger than me we still have tight relationships. 

My brother and I were closer in age (22 months) and we were always together. We were so close growing up and still are. 

Because we only have 1 brother--I never knew about 

BROTHERS.

I've heard stories. 

College friends share their 'brother' stories.

Brother-in-laws share about growing up with brothers and all the fun they had as kids.

But, I never saw it 1st hand. 

Until almost 6 months ago.

I have 2 boys. 

Easton will be 2 in 11 days.

Lincoln will be 6 months in a week.

Their brotherhood started off like many a brothers before them.

A toddler and a newborn. All your hopes and dreams of a close relationship are just that:

Dreams.

You can't force Brotherhood. It has to happen on it's own. You can guide and pray and dream...

but it only works when they are ready. 

In their own time.

The bigger brother notices the younger brother 1st. 

And over time, the younger brother starts to notice the bigger one.

And, that's when the magic starts.

It's an unspoken magic. A watchful eye. A shy smile. But in those moments of silence that's where the magic grows. Little by little, the magic takes a bigger step and the brotherhood gets closer. It happens when Mama's leave the room and little boys get to look at each other and try to figure things out. 

It grows at story time when both boys are on Mama's lap and are bonding over tractors, balls, trains, and trucks. It happens during bath time, bed time, and in the oddest places. 

There's lots of learning going on in this brotherhood. Sharing, being gentle, and being quiet when each are sleeping. There may even be jealousy moments and moments of misunderstanding, but those are expected and are times for growth and teaching. Brotherhood isn't perfect. But, almost. 

I didn't know that 2 boys can have so much fun being together at such a young age. The floor is a level playing field and their toys are tools to help them share and grow. Each of them have a philosophy, "What's mine is yours, and what's yours is mine." And at the end of the day, it all works out. 

There are smiles. And grins. And boy giggles. Which are sweeter than girl giggles. Because girls are expected to giggle. Boys giggle and I'm sure all of Heaven stops to hear. Because, it's just precious. And sweet. And it's extra special when boy giggles are brothers giggling over silly things that no one will ever understand even if we try. It's a brother thing.

I didn't know that brotherhood started so young. That when brothers wake up in the morning each of them look or ask for each other right away. That when you put them in the car they look over at the other car seat just to make sure I buckled their brother too.

That when one brother is outside the other one HAS to be outside. 

That when one brother is sleeping life isn't the same.

There are many things I love and cherish. But my new thing I adore are 

BROTHERS.

Brothers have their whole lives ahead of them to make memories, share stories, and live adventures.

They can be Cowboys, Aliens, Space Rangers, or Horses. 

They share secrets and share foods that 5 month olds are not suppose to eat. (pickles and cheese so far) But, it's all because they are

BROTHERS.

When one cries...the other one will start crying too. After all, when one brother hurts, so does the other.

When one needs a kiss, so does the other.

It's just how the Brother code works. 

Sharing is key. In everything. 

Good or bad.

Balloons are favorite past times for brothers. But, brothers don't share balloons. Each brother needs their own. 

Another Brother Code.

It's a tricky code to learn.

And the biggest Brother code is to fall apart when Mama wants to get a cute Valentine picture. Because that's more fun. Brothers don't do boring or picture perfect. They wanna keep things fun and keep Mama's on their toes. 

But that's ok. Because this MIGHT be my favorite picture ever. 

It's all part of the Brother code that I know nothing of--but am learning.

There's lots of touching.  And lots of gentleness. Lots of pats and hugs and sweet moments that brothers share. 

Lots of exploring and learning new things and new adventures ahead.

There are lots of wild moments too. Times of shouting, and jumping, rolling, and pulling. Wrestling and sitting on top of each other. Yes. Already. But it's all part of being brothers. 

There will be secrets. There will be flashlights. And tents. Late nights. And mud. And food.

Brothers always have food. 

There will be moments where they don't need to talk. Because they each know what the other is thinking.

And there will be moments when sticking your finger in your brother's mouth is funny.

What?! You don't think so--because it's only funny in Brother hood. 

And when it's all said and done...and they grow up and become world changing men...

They will still be brothers.

Blessed to be a Mama of 2 boys!

My "other" little man

Most of you know I have two of the sweetest boys out there. They are my world and there isn't a day that goes by that I THANK GOD for them and then PRAY I raise them right....

BUT, there is another little boy out that that steals my heart. And his name is TRISTAN FOX.

Tristan is my sister, Beka's little boy. He's 6 months older than my Easton. And here is my story...

After I had my miscarriage, I wanted so badly to be pregnant again. I lost that baby in September, and in the following months I was getting depressed. I was praying and begging God for a baby. During that time in prayer, God told my mother (yep...not me...my mom) that I would have a baby--IN HIS TIME. So while I was praying asking God to let me know when I was going to have a baby God told me this: Beka would have a baby before me. I didn't share this with anyone--but kept it in my heart.

Around January, Beka called me one night and told me she was pregnant. No one knew but a few. She wanted me to be one of the 1st to know and I was SUPER excited for her. Someone asked me, "Did you cry when you learned that she got pregnant before you?" I responded, "NO NOT AT ALL! I was SOOO happy!" And I honestly was...because I KNEW that even though I wasn't pregnant with my own child, I would LOVE her baby (boy or girl) like my own.

When Tristan was born, I have NEVER felt such love for any baby in my life. The love was REAL. RAW. And full of emotion. I almost moved in with my sister and her husband to protect this baby. I didn't want to share him with anyone...because he was healing my heart.

I hate to say this, but, T wasn't the best baby. (ask Beka.) In fact, he was work. And not like your typical infant work....this baby was W.O.R.K. More so than any other baby I'd ever seen. But, I loved him and he loved me. So day after day, I'd find excuses to go visit Tristan and Beka. I'd clean their kitchen, fold their clothes, check their closets for hiding visitors. (true story)

He cried every time I sang a song to him. (when your sister sings like mine--I'd cry too if anyone else tried to sing to me) but--I could rock him to sleep and the only other person who could do that was his Mama. He was born wanting to walk, eat real food, and thought sleep was for babies. But, he was the most beautiful baby I'd seen--and was a KEEPER.

T and I were bonded...and just to seal that bond, I gave birth to his BFF cousin, Easton.

It's been a little over 2 years now. I'm busy with my own babies that it's hard to get one-on-one time with T. Plus, he and Easton love to play so I'm kind of like the 2nd fiddle in the group. I bring them snacks, press play on their movie, and help them overcome their "MINE" moments.

But--today--there was magic.

We were at church, and T didn't want to be in the nursery. I was sitting in my pew and T was sitting playing with his daddy's iphone. He looked at me while we were singing and he started talking to me. I'd wave...and he kept talking. It could of been about anything. Eva-Easton-Lincoln-Hadassah. Anything. Finally, I held up my arms to him and he came running. When I picked him up, that raw emotion came RUNNING back just like the day he was born.

I had missed him. He's my other little man--the one that I don't get to play with very much. But, for the remainder of worship he was mine. I held him in his little skinny jeans, as he watched Wall-e on the iphone. We sat and I fed him snacks (the way to get to his heart) and finally, he asked for Easton. So we headed downstairs.

Holding him, I almost cried. It had been TOO long for us to not share a moment. My little man is 2. He's talking so much and is learning words to read and count and working on being potty-trained. He's a little man now--a wonderful toddler--and as cute as can be. He loves adventure and all things pixar. He says the cutest things and makes me laugh. He loves to boss Easton and loves all things trains.

He is growing up so fast I can't believe it. We have a bond--T and I--he made me an aunt and I take that job very seriously.

I KNOW God has a BIG plan for Tristan Fox...and I'll be sitting in the wings watching it unfold.

Tristan...God has a plan for your life and I will be such a happy Aunt watching you grow into the man God has called you to be!

Tristan on Christmas Eve with his family. 

Oh to be young again...

I woke up today in a funk. Nothing major. Just blah. Lincoln didn't sleep well the past two nights so maybe it was lack of sleep. Or maybe it was me. I don't know. But, I woke up wanting to just be. And not be home.
As a mom the responsibilities are out of control. I don't care if you have 1 child---or 10. Children are work. Plain and simple. Housework is never-ending. And someone is always making a mess. Today, I just wanted me time. To do whatever. Read blogs. Drink hot tea (without having to re-heat it 3 times) or read a book without having to put it down.
So, as I was walking in the kitchen, I prayed and said, "Jesus, help my attitude because it's not pretty right now." And, then, I heard this phrase, "Let us rejoice...!" Followed by "Sing unto the Lord a new song!" And at that moment...I laughed. HARD. Aloud. And when I caught my breathe...I laughed even harder.
Now, there is nothing very funny about that phrase. In fact, it's very Holy...and Biblical. It was the memory that goes with it....

I was in JR. High. Our tiny school finally had enough boys to have a basketball team. And all of us girls decided to be cheerleaders. That sentence alone makes me laugh---and hard. But keep reading. So, as cheerleaders we decided to copy steal the public school cheers. So we spent most of our Friday nights at basketball games learning the cheers as the 'professional' cheerleaders cheered their hearts out.

And then, it happened. Halftime came. And not only did the cheerleaders take the court...but so did the dance team. Dancing to some hit song of the 90's. Songs that were forbidden at our Christian School.

It was then and there that our 'cheerleading' (I use that term loosely) team decided it was time to add dance to our games. (I might add we had yet to really CHEER at a game--more watching and fighting what cheers we would do and when) Keep reading...it gets better.

So, my friends went to work. They started watching TV and got us some GOOD dance moves. And I mean good. They had the whole routine down and our "team" was ready to dance.

And so, our practices began. We met at Co's Consignment Corner. The only little shop in town. Right on Main St. And we planned to dance in Co's parking lot. (it totally was ok, because Co's daughter and I were in the same grade--and she was one of the one's to make up the dance) And, so it began. 1st we learned the moves. And let me tell you...we thought we were SO cool. Those moves were awesome. After all, I'm sure they got them from M-TV or Mickey Mouse Club or somewhere cool. We worked so hard. Most of the days at school were spend seeing who could go where---- and spend the night with whom so we could practice after school. Outside. In the parking lot---- say...4pm until supper or when parents called Co's to send us home. I think we even planned some Saturday practices just in case people couldn't come during the weekday.

My mind gets a little fuzzy here. Was it: Angie? Sara? Or Christina, I can't remember, but someone came up with the BEST song ever for us to dance to...at halftime. At our boys' basketball game. You ready?

SANDI PATTI.

THE ONE AND ONLY! She was our favorite so it was a must! And THIS song was our halftime song.

The end of the story is sad. We never performed that halftime show. (Well, maybe not sad NOW, but at the time it was sad) and today I was thinking...at that moment in 9th grade (or whatever grade I was in) the most important thing in my life and in my friends' lives was that dance. I'm sure it was only a short time we wanted to make up that dance...maybe two weeks max---but it was important. And all we thought about. Our hearts were broken when ONE of our friends couldn't be there to practice. At school we were always worried about if our mom's would let us practice after school or not. Would she need me to babysit? Or clean the house?

Now, maybe I'm remembering wrong. But, I do remember it being a big deal.
So after I had a good laugh this morning, and laughed at our young ways, I thought, what do I worry about today? I'm not talking big, major things....I'm talking about small things that in 20 years you will laugh at for worrying. The "I don't know if my mom will let me go practice our dance after school because the kitchen is a mess" kind of thing. At 13, those kind of worries are the END.OF.THE.WORLD. Yet, I look back and see even last year's worries were just as childish.

So friends. Take heart. God already knows...AND...

Let us rejoice...Sing unto the Lord a new song.

(LET US REJOICE: Turn sideways. Arms up. Bring one arm down on beat 4 times.
SING UNTO THE LORD A NEW SONG: Turn. One hand on hip. Other hand moving like spirit fingers.)
Yep. Years later...I can still dance the moves. Only in my kitchen, by myself.

Sister Tea

My sister Libby had this idea. A Sister's Tea around Christmas just for the sisters. Christmas was over and she only had a few days until she had to go back to VA. But we thought it was a good idea. So, we decided we'd have it this last Thursday at 1:00 at my house. 

Only thing was Libby had to sub at school that day in the morning. 

Beka was super busy with her kids.

And I was gone all morning and came home RIGHT at noon.

Seeing that I had 1 hour to get this tea party together I ignored the REST of the house. (and boy, it was bad) and focused on the table. 

At 1pm Libby called me and told me she'd just woke up from a nap but was coming.

Beka called and said she couldn't stay long but was coming. 

So the Sister's Tea was STILL on!

Lots of RED....:) 

I refused to fret over the menu. I had 1 hr. I pulled out leftovers and since there were not very many I just used smaller bowls. For some reason smaller bowls just seems more tea party-ish. 

And again...no dessert. So I found all the candy we had in the house. 

And so, a tea party was forming!

Baby Sister

Big Sister

Middle Sister

And I am sorry to say there are no pics of Lib~Beks~Me. Non of us were 'picture ready' for the day. We were in sweats...and we decided to keep the pics about the decorations. 

But, next Christmas we will have more decorations...and more ideas. And pics of our sisterhood. 

We talked about what were were planning to do next year. How fun. 

And how Wil and Zach would babysit the kids so we could REALLY enjoy the tea! 

But, back to the present...it was lovely. So much fun and too quick. 

I love my sisters and so glad that God gave them to me! 

Being about my Father's business

My goal was to blog more. And, then, Linc and I on Christmas Eve spilled water on my computer. And, no computer=no blogging. Here I sit with my husband's computer while he's out...and I have something on my heart for someone. I don't know who...but I know someone needs to hear/read this.

Years ago, I graduated from college and came home to teach. I was single. My town had 350 people. All of which were older retired people or young families raising kids. My high school friends had graduated, got married and moved on. I was alone.

Lots of people were SO good to me. They all loved me and wanted me to find that someone special. They tried to tell me about their brother's cousin's sister's son who lived in Alaska. Single. Good-looking and loaded. But, I wasn't in Alaska. And he wasn't coming to Iowa. I had little boys ride their bikes up to me while taking a walk and ask if I wanted to date their dad. (no joke) I had people who wanted me to sign up for online dating and find my soulmate through email. And, although one of my favorite movies of all time is 'You've got Mail' I didn't know what to do.

So I went to Jesus and asked Him to show me. I prayed. And read my Bible. I asked questions like this, "Lord, do you want me to move to Alaska or a different state?" "Do you want me to marry a man who has kids?" And "Is this your will for me to sign up for online dating?" Now, I want to stop right here and  clarify that I have had friends who have done ALL of these things...and it worked for them. They are all married, and happy. None of these things are bad...I was asking for God's Will. And this is what I heard for ME.

I was reading in my Bible about Rebekah and how she still lived with her parents AT HOME. Her job each day was to go down to the well and get water. Every day. A very boring job. But much needed for the family to function. One day, she went down and met a man at the well. He was a servant and she asked if he needed water. She gave him and his camels water. He then asked if she wanted to marry his master's son. (Crazy proposal!) And she said YES. She went with him and met Isaac and they were happily married.

The part that really struck me was this: She stayed about her Father's business. She wasn't worried about life. She was doing with she was called to do at that time. Get water from the well.

God spoke and said, "Rachel Michelle Phillips--Stay about MY business. Drink from MY WELL and be filled." And so I did. For 7 years I taught at Lighthouse Academy and loved it. God had called me there and it was rewarding. I was staying about my Father's business. Doing my part for the Kingdom. Some days it was excitement. Other days it was boring. Some days it was hard. Other days it was a delight.

And what happened? God brought my husband to our church. His father's servant didn't propose...Wil did himself. But, everything just fell into place.

Now, I am married with 2 kids under 2. Somedays I question if I should be doing more. Lighthouse always needs help. The church needs workers. What should I be doing? I am reminded of the words spoken years ago. I'm to STAY about my Father's business. And right now, my two boys are my Father's business. My home is my Father's business. My marriage is my Father's business. That is what I'm called to do.

So today friends, if you are struggling with something...or you are waiting for something to happen: Take heart! Stay about your Father's business. Support your church--Sundays, Wednesdays, and when the doors are open. Focus on your marriage...your children, and your walk with God. If you are single embrace it and Stay about your Father's business. The rewards are amazing. And when the waiting comes to an end...you will find that the waiting wasn't as long as you thought.

So today: Stay about YOUR Father's business!

Spark-less

I know.
2 posts in 2 days.
Is this a streak?
Who knows. But. I've got something to write...and my son is napping, and my Manly Man is working and can't listen.
So...I take the next big thing.
My Blog.

After 2 days of thinking and reflecting...I have figured something out about myself....
I am spark-less.
Now, don't jump all over and get worried. Don't call my mother.
It happens from time to time. And I have figured it out....

Let's go back....a year ago.

A year ago I was HERE. 
A TERRIBLE place to be. But, I recovered. And don't even miss my gall bladder.
After that, I let my creative juices start to flow. I found great deals on things and updated them and now have them in my house.

All fall and into winter I did this....Create. Create. Create.
I LOVE who I am when I am creating. Things come alive to me that I never thought would...and I LOVE it.

Then, in Nov. we moved to our NEW house.
MORE creating. I had to pick out paint and our great Master's team came and painted my whole house...from top to bottom. (and some great friends came too)

Christmas came.
MOOOOORE creating. I was in the kitchen baking.
Decorating my OWN house.
Enjoying Easton's 1st Christmas.
Making presents.
Wrapping presents.

And then...I got pregnant.

No, pregnancy isn't a bad thing. And we planned on getting pregnant. But, my body completely changes when I get pregnant.
I lose Spark.
I crave SLEEP.
I don't care.
I let things go {living room. kitchen. closets. crafts.}
Little things slide. {small things that build good qualities in my baby}
And, I lose myself.

Now, don't cry. It's just a season. Losing yourself can be hard...but I have learned in the past that I do find myself again. But it does take time.

And, it usually doesn't come back until 3 months after labor.
{Sigh}

But, it does come back.

It might even come back sooner...because today I realized that SOMETHING is MISSING.
And it's my SPARK.
Things that make me MORE creative.
More enjoyable.

I told my Manly Man today...(while he was listening) my head and heart are missing being creative...
My body is not. I'm just STILL too tired to start something new.
{Sigh}

And so...My talented SISTER and our BFF RUTH ANN and myself are taking a little GIRLS' WEEKEND GET AWAY. Well...kind of. A friend of ours is getting married in Mississippi. (The state...not the river...many get confused.) and my Sis is the Photographer for the wedding. I am coming along to hold my sweet new {and only} neice LIVIA while her mama works. And, Ruth Ann is coming---just because!

So, while there will be MUCH baby holding...and lazy days in Mississippi...I plan to FIND my spark.
I may even wander into a Jo Anns, or Hobby Lobby and just breathe.

So...next week if you see me painting flowers and rainbows on our house...I FOUND it...and just needed an outlet to create!

Oh...to create!

God's Will

Remember this post? An update. We are doing MUCH better. Easton finally is back to normal. BUT, it lasted for ONE month. ONE. May 11th-June 11th. Every test came back negative...and so, it was a wicked virus. Something I hope NONE of you ever go through. Ever.

And so...we move on!

Today I'm quiet. In a reflecting mood. Part of it is I have a scratchy throat and it hurts to talk. Part of it is me just tired and a little sickly. And the other part, thinking about my life...and goals.

I've always wanted to be a stay at home mom. Always. And I'm honored that I get to with Easton and this little baby boy inside of me. And, with being pregnant, and the energy I don't have...I don't think I'd live through going to work and coming home to kids and ALL the work it requires to run a house.

But, sometimes staying at home is hard. Even ugly. I mean, how many times a day does your kitchen need to be cleaned? Mine? All the time. And let's not even talk about how dirty FLOORS get. You don't even realize about dirty floors until you have little ones eating off of it.

AND, LAUNDRY.
GRRRR.

Yet, I wouldn't trade these days for anything. I'll take my dirty floors, thank you very much. And even a day where my throat hurts....
And the PILES of laundry that come with being a wife and mother....
Because, when it's all said and done....THIS is what God has called me to do. And even though I MIGHT not have done it WELL today...there is always tomorrow!

AND, I've learned, there is NO greater JOY than BEING completely in God's WILL.

Rainy Day...

Today...it's rainy. Like...ALL day rain. No break. No thunder. No lighting. Just rain, rain, rain, rain.

Easton and I had a lazy day. We slept in, ate a late breakfast. Didn't get dressed right away and just played. We played with cars, trains, balls, and a turtle. We read books that went brrrm brrrrm, That's not my... and lift a flap. We ate lunch that consisted of not very healthy things. PB&J for Easty. AND, rice for me. White rice...worst kind of rice you can eat...I think!

The one productive thing we did today was go through ALL the DVDs and make sure they were in the RIGHT case. We also dusted. (I use WE lightly...Easton wasn't interested.)

And, then, we watched a movie.

Finally, around 1pm Easty took a nap. I got to take a shower.

After Easton got up...he was TIRED of being inside. All morning he would go to the door asking to go outside. He's grab his daddy's hat and put it on...a sign for OUTSIDE.

Finally, it was time to get the mail. Grabbing Easton's rain coat and an umbrella and out we went. It was cold and wet. Not the warm summer rain. The cold rain that spring brings when it's confused. I carried Easton to the mailbox and he could hear the pitter patter of rain as it hit the umbrella. He loved it. And just watched!

Finally, on the way back Easton wanted down. I put him down and he headed RIGHT for the puddle. At 1st, I tried to get him out of the puddle. And then it HIT me...I'm gonna be a mama of 2 boys. And I gotta get use to this...what's a little water? what's a little dirt? what's a little bit more laundry? He's having fun. And so, I went to get my camera.

After all, they do so say, DANCE IN THE RAIN.

And so, WE DID!!!!

Puddles and little boys go together--just like PB&J!

Why buy Easton a raincoat if you can't use it?? Guess I will be buying him some rainboots to match! ;)

An adventure waiting to happen....

And so, we danced and played in the rain.

What a great memory for both Easty and myself.

Easton's 1st Birthday Party

And JUST like that, he's one. My first born son...a year old. Well, his birthday isn't until tomorrow, but after a party, I say, you can say your age. So 1 it is! We had a FUN time. Let me explain...

I wanted a great bday party for my little boy. After all, 1 is a BIG DEAL to me. My problem...who to invite. I KNEW our house wouldn't hold EVERYONE we wanted to invite. Friends, family, cousins, friends of friends, Easton's friends YOU get the pic. So finally, Wil and I decided to have family come. And when I say family...I mean F.A.M.I.L.Y.
My side:

Grandma Dixie (Papaw Paul is in AR living it up with his brothers...fishing.)

Great Grandma Bonnie
Great-Great Aunt Lois
Aunt Beka
Uncle Zach
Tristan

Let's talk Wil's side...shall we?
Uncle Lloyd

Aunt Elaine

Geneva

Kendall
Gloria and Victoria (twins)
Dawn
Twyla

Andrea
Kimmy
Logan

Aunt Louella
Anthony
Jeffery

Hannah

Austin
Uncle Lavern
Aunt Marietta
Grant
Dani
Siara

Whew. You KNOW how many kids that is!?!?!?
Alot.
Plus, I invited my friend and her kids came over...they live right down the road.
Ruth Ann
Tina
Staci
Mitchell
Hadassah

That's 22 kids. Counting Easton. Let the FUN begin!

 Birthday boy needs a birthday hat!

 The CANDY part of the party. Everyone when home with LOTS and LOTS of candy. :)

The house had 4 different "stations" One station was SANDY CANDY. Where they got to mix and match their taste bud wishes and create their own candy. Big.Hit. (But when is candy not a hit?)
Then, from there, they moved on to a craft table, and created 1 or 2 crafts. Then, they went and tried to blow bubbles with bubble gum.
Then....

 We went outside and made BIG bubbles. Big. Everyone needs an Aunt Lois. I mean. She makes Birthdays F.U.N. She had SO much fun getting the bubbles ready. I just wish it was warmer so we could have spent MORE time outside. But, it was magical. If Disney only knew about Aunt Lois. Or as Tristan and Easton call her A-lo-ha. Words of a 1 year old....

 Cake. Best part of the day! Easton got his cake and went RIGHT for the red frosting. With 1 finger. So cute. He started with the red and wouldn't stop until the red was all gone.

 Then, after he'd eat some he's clap. As if he was saying...WHERE has this been my whole life? No more green beans for me!

                                                        

ALL DONE! Just a frosting boy...

Here is my baby boy! All ready for his birthday party!!
All in all...it was a WONDERFUL day. I kept looking at the clock thinking about where I was a year ago. And tonight, I rest. Knowing I have a blessing sent from God in a son named
Easton Paul Nolt.

Life is good.

Happy Birthday baby boy!
Your Mama is soooo proud of you!