It's 8pm on a Thursday night. Here I sit. Taking in my surroundings. Marking in my memory the feelings that I'm going through. Tomorrow morning I will be induced and SOON a baby boy will be mine.
But, tonight, I'm reflecting. Quiet. Antsy. Excited. Nervous. AND so much more.
I can't believe it's almost time. I mean, not ONLY have I waited for this day for 9 months but FOR my ENTIRE life. I remember playing with my doll as a little girl. My husband was the President of the US and I was carrying our baby around hiding from the press. (big dreams for a kid, I know.)
Fast forward through the years, and I remember several of my friends becoming mom's. I was still in college and I COULDN'T wait til it was my turn. BUT, my turn wasn't yet to be.
After graduation from college I started teaching. Once again, my turn wasn't to be. Other friends got married and had babies...but I still was single.
FINALLY, it seemed like FOREVER, I got married. At 29. It was my turn to get married. AND, two months later, we were expecting our 1st. Only, our 1st never made it. AND once again, it wasn't my turn. What a lesson. A lesson that can still bring tears to my eyes. A lesson that made me CLING to God like NO other lesson I've ever been through. A lesson where God was the ONLY thing I could trust.
AND, finally, one day, in July, I did find out it was my turn.
AND, tomorrow I get to meet this little boy God deemed worthy to bring into my life. Many friends and family have asked if I'm excited. I am. Scared. I am. Reflective. I am. I'm quiet tonight. Quiet as I reflect all of God's goodness and His mercy. Quiet because I'm tired. (yes, already) Quiet because I don't want to get my hopes up. Quiet because my life will forever change.
So, as this chapter of my life is closing, and a new chapter in my life is beginning, I'm reminded of ALL I have been through.
AND, tomorrow, sometime, I get to hold a little boy in my arms that belongs to me!
Finally, it's my turn!
But, tonight, I'm reflecting. Quiet. Antsy. Excited. Nervous. AND so much more.
I can't believe it's almost time. I mean, not ONLY have I waited for this day for 9 months but FOR my ENTIRE life. I remember playing with my doll as a little girl. My husband was the President of the US and I was carrying our baby around hiding from the press. (big dreams for a kid, I know.)
Fast forward through the years, and I remember several of my friends becoming mom's. I was still in college and I COULDN'T wait til it was my turn. BUT, my turn wasn't yet to be.
After graduation from college I started teaching. Once again, my turn wasn't to be. Other friends got married and had babies...but I still was single.
FINALLY, it seemed like FOREVER, I got married. At 29. It was my turn to get married. AND, two months later, we were expecting our 1st. Only, our 1st never made it. AND once again, it wasn't my turn. What a lesson. A lesson that can still bring tears to my eyes. A lesson that made me CLING to God like NO other lesson I've ever been through. A lesson where God was the ONLY thing I could trust.
AND, finally, one day, in July, I did find out it was my turn.
AND, tomorrow I get to meet this little boy God deemed worthy to bring into my life. Many friends and family have asked if I'm excited. I am. Scared. I am. Reflective. I am. I'm quiet tonight. Quiet as I reflect all of God's goodness and His mercy. Quiet because I'm tired. (yes, already) Quiet because I don't want to get my hopes up. Quiet because my life will forever change.
So, as this chapter of my life is closing, and a new chapter in my life is beginning, I'm reminded of ALL I have been through.
AND, tomorrow, sometime, I get to hold a little boy in my arms that belongs to me!
Finally, it's my turn!
2 comments:
This gave me chills and brought tears to my eyes... our God knows the best! I AM SO HAPPY ITS YOUR TURN!
I love you, rachel! I am so happy HE'S HERE!!
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