Sunday, January 22, 2012

My "other" little man

Most of you know I have two of the sweetest boys out there. They are my world and there isn't a day that goes by that I THANK GOD for them and then PRAY I raise them right....

BUT, there is another little boy out that that steals my heart. And his name is TRISTAN FOX.

Tristan is my sister, Beka's little boy. He's 6 months older than my Easton. And here is my story...

After I had my miscarriage, I wanted so badly to be pregnant again. I lost that baby in September, and in the following months I was getting depressed. I was praying and begging God for a baby. During that time in prayer, God told my mother (yep...not me...my mom) that I would have a baby--IN HIS TIME. So while I was praying asking God to let me know when I was going to have a baby God told me this: Beka would have a baby before me. I didn't share this with anyone--but kept it in my heart.

Around January, Beka called me one night and told me she was pregnant. No one knew but a few. She wanted me to be one of the 1st to know and I was SUPER excited for her. Someone asked me, "Did you cry when you learned that she got pregnant before you?" I responded, "NO NOT AT ALL! I was SOOO happy!" And I honestly was...because I KNEW that even though I wasn't pregnant with my own child, I would LOVE her baby (boy or girl) like my own.

When Tristan was born, I have NEVER felt such love for any baby in my life. The love was REAL. RAW. And full of emotion. I almost moved in with my sister and her husband to protect this baby. I didn't want to share him with anyone...because he was healing my heart.

I hate to say this, but, T wasn't the best baby. (ask Beka.) In fact, he was work. And not like your typical infant work....this baby was W.O.R.K. More so than any other baby I'd ever seen. But, I loved him and he loved me. So day after day, I'd find excuses to go visit Tristan and Beka. I'd clean their kitchen, fold their clothes, check their closets for hiding visitors. (true story)

He cried every time I sang a song to him. (when your sister sings like mine--I'd cry too if anyone else tried to sing to me) but--I could rock him to sleep and the only other person who could do that was his Mama. He was born wanting to walk, eat real food, and thought sleep was for babies. But, he was the most beautiful baby I'd seen--and was a KEEPER.

T and I were bonded...and just to seal that bond, I gave birth to his BFF cousin, Easton.

It's been a little over 2 years now. I'm busy with my own babies that it's hard to get one-on-one time with T. Plus, he and Easton love to play so I'm kind of like the 2nd fiddle in the group. I bring them snacks, press play on their movie, and help them overcome their "MINE" moments.

But--today--there was magic.

We were at church, and T didn't want to be in the nursery. I was sitting in my pew and T was sitting playing with his daddy's iphone. He looked at me while we were singing and he started talking to me. I'd wave...and he kept talking. It could of been about anything. Eva-Easton-Lincoln-Hadassah. Anything. Finally, I held up my arms to him and he came running. When I picked him up, that raw emotion came RUNNING back just like the day he was born.

I had missed him. He's my other little man--the one that I don't get to play with very much. But, for the remainder of worship he was mine. I held him in his little skinny jeans, as he watched Wall-e on the iphone. We sat and I fed him snacks (the way to get to his heart) and finally, he asked for Easton. So we headed downstairs.

Holding him, I almost cried. It had been TOO long for us to not share a moment. My little man is 2. He's talking so much and is learning words to read and count and working on being potty-trained. He's a little man now--a wonderful toddler--and as cute as can be. He loves adventure and all things pixar. He says the cutest things and makes me laugh. He loves to boss Easton and loves all things trains.

He is growing up so fast I can't believe it. We have a bond--T and I--he made me an aunt and I take that job very seriously.

I KNOW God has a BIG plan for Tristan Fox...and I'll be sitting in the wings watching it unfold.

Tristan...God has a plan for your life and I will be such a happy Aunt watching you grow into the man God has called you to be!



Tristan on Christmas Eve with his family. 

4 comments:

MegsM said...

OMG! Love this Rae! God has blessed you SO MUCH since that time!! I love to look back, and see what God has used to help us through difficult times and you get to see that EVERY time you look at Tristan! God is SO GOOD!!!

Lib at Truly His said...

That is so sweet, Rae! Hey! I TAGGED you in on something over on my blog...check it out:)

alignaChristina said...

Hey rachel your such a great auntie!! Just FYI I gave you a award so check it out:))

Jamie Willow said...

This reminds me of my nephew Beck. He came along at a time I needed some heart work too.
Loved reading this.