Sunday, July 15, 2012

Looking back...and pressing forward.

Hello friends....

Seems like just yesterday I told you all I was going Vegan. And was going to blog about it. And, well, although I didn't blog about it much, I did it. And did it well. But, that's not the topic of tonight.

I had a moment yesterday...and I wanted to share.

It was a normal Saturday Morning, we were at home. Wil was gone to Promise Keepers and it was just the kids and I. We decided to meet some friends for coffee and scones and then a walk to Farmer's Market. Only, our local coffee shop was closed due to an employee getting married. (no joke. small town. can't make this stuff up.)

So, with that. We headed for our local McDonald's. My friend Kate has 2 kids...and I have 2 kids. So you can imagine what we looked like. Trays of breakfast, high chairs...and kids running to seats to get their biscuits...and begging for scones. (try telling a 2 year old that the coffee shop isn't open and McDonald's isn't hip enough to carry scones.)

In all the chaos, I felt eyes upon us. I turned to see about 8-10 older ladies sitting at the biggest table there. (seriously, at 1st I was annoyed they had that table. after all. we had 4 kids...and needed room.) I smiled at them recognizing the local coffee group that comes almost every Saturday to the coffee shop. And then tried to convince my 9 month old he didn't need to take his brother's biscuit.

As Kate and I tried to divide our time between talking and keeping our kids in line...I kept noticing how  every 5 minutes the ladies would turn around and watch us. They giggled at Lincoln LOVING the yogurt he was eating. They whispered to each other to watch as Easton was DOWNING his apple juice. They would all turn around and just watch in amazement at how Lincoln could pick up the bits of biscuit with his fingers that Easton shared.

We didn't last long at McDonald's. 4 kids. 2 moms. Small table. You just wanna EAT and RUN. As we were clearing our table, I stood up and noticed 9 month old had dropped the 2 year old's half eaten biscuit on the floor. And being the incredible mother that I am...was just going to leave it. But, my 2 year old found it...and bent over to pick it up...then proceeded to eat the dirty biscuit.

At that moment, I heard giggles. Lots of giggles. And pokes. And I looked over to see ALL of the ladies enjoying the moment. I turned and asked, "Does it take you back?" And do you know what they did? For the 1 second I got to look...I saw not only JOY...but in their eyes each one of them...went back to when they were mothers' of toddlers. I could tell in their faces. Tell in their smiles. They all nodded in perfect unison. They were remembering. Remembering their babies. Who were no longer babies. Remembering the busyness of motherhood. The quick moments with friends. The quick bites of food you don't remember eating. The moments of your babies eating off the floor.

And as I was rushing around making sure we didn't lose any children, I was touched. Often, I am in a hurry. Hurry in the morning to get the kids dressed and ready for the day. Hurry to make lunch because everyone is hungry. Hurry for naps cause Mama needs a break. Hurry during nap time because this is the ONLY sane moment I'll get ALLLLLLL day. Hurry to make supper and hurry to put the kids to bed.

And often times I catch myself thinking, "Soon this will pass. You can make it through this stage. Keep pressing forward. It will end one day."

And I get upset with myself for those thoughts. Because I saw it in those ladies' eyes. If, they could, they would go back to that place in a moment. Rock their babies. Love them. And feed them ice cream. Make more memories. Keep them up past their bedtimes...and yell less and love more.

I saw it 1st hand. They would have traded their coffee and "big table" for a small table with little faces.

And it blessed me. As we hurried to our next big thing...I kept seeing their faces in my mind and it made me smile.

And, although this might be the worst night in history that my children fought bedtime...and I will confess, one is still awake and the clock says: 9:56pm...and I might be the worst mother and got frustrated so much that now I'm sitting on my child's floor just so he will stay in bed...just so I can write in peace...I know these moments won't last forever. I know, that God has me RIGHT where I need to be. He gave me my boys because He knew just what I needed....

I DO NOT want to wish my life away for the next stage. That's my biggest desire right now. To live in the moment of them being young. And little and their "issues" are minor. And to not only live it...but to enjoy them.

And, in 30 years when my kids are grown and I'm sitting with my friends drinking coffee and a young mom walks in with kids and they are eating biscuits off the floor....I'll jump right up. Go buy her an Sweet Tea and say, "Here....this was the ONE thing that kept me sane when my kids were young. It goes by fast...but what I ride it was! Remember...YOU GOT THIS!"

So today...what ever "stage" you are in...Enjoy this moment. Cherish the present and KNOW that God gives you enough GRACE to make it through with dignity.


alignaCristina from SomekindofParadise said...

Perfect reading for my monday morning Rachel thanks so much for sharing your heart and what a great message for us mamas!! Brought me to tears:)

Melis said...

Love this! I try so hard to stay in these moments and enjoy every single awful one because they'll be gone before we blink and I don't want to regret anything! Well said, my friend!

Amanda Nash said...

ohhhh Rachel. as i hurried through my day today, i may have cried when i read this....

Heather said...

Hi I'm Heather. I have a question about your blog, please email me when you get a chance. HeatherVonSJ(at)gmail(dot)com Thanks!!