A letter to my 45 year old self...

NOTE: I wrote the following in my journal back in January. So I could remember what my life was like at 35. When my babies are little--because in 10 years I'm sure I will forget.

Wanted to share it with y'all tonight.

Dear 45 year old self,

Just a few things I want you to remember in this season of your life. Your babies are 3, 2, and 4 months  old. 

IT IS BUSY. 

Some days we thrive. Other days we limp. 

But, we make it.

Your boys are in these incredible stages...

Easton just wants to learn. And try everything on his own. He can dress himself from head to toe and MAMA...you thought you had arrived! 

Now, you only have to dress 3 people each morning! 

Easton loves to be silly and say silly things. "Peanut" is as silly as it gets but that one word can make him and Linc dissolve into giggles for a good while. 

Speaking of Lincoln, he just wants to please. 

AND eat. 

1st at the table-last to leave. 

His hunting skills improve everyday. He is silent, but so sweet.

 He's smile melts everyone's hearts. 

With that said, when did he stop coming to sleep in our bed??

Knightley is just about to be able to grab his toes with his hands. He tries so hard. He is at such a smiley stage. And so talkative. 

No worries, Mama. 

You take moments just to hold him. 

Just to breathe him in. 

Sometimes, you even leave the dishes for the morning so you can just be with your baby.

Your world is small these days. 

You don't get away very often. 

But, it's okay. 

You realize this is just a season. 

And through every season you have highs and lows. 

Good and bad. 

You try to look at the good and forget the bad. 

Sometimes it works. 

Sometimes you forget.

Some of the good these days are:

1. Slow mornings. Kids don't have to rush out the door to school. 

We relax. 

And play. 

And enjoy the morning.

2. The snuggles. 

All your babies still love to snuggle in the morning upon waking up.

3. EARLY BEDTIME!!! 

Once the boys go to bed most nights you do also-JUST TO THINK! 

Quiet and PEACE!

You should see how Wil and I communicate.

 It's a riot to even complete a full sentence but somehow we make it work.

And I could add more, but it's 9:15pm and I am fighting staying awake!!

You are living your dream. 

A WIFE AND MOTHER!

And, even though you would LOVE 8 hours ALL.TO.YOURSELF most days you never sit, because if you did rooms would explode in 5 minutes flat.

You enjoy your life.

And, try, daily to notice the things that won't be here 10 years from now.

Still tell your boys, "You will be mighty in GOD someday!"

Because, they will.

Trust me.

We got this.

...there was magic in the woods.

It's 53 degrees outside. In Iowa. In January. For real people. It's as God himself is kissing his little Iowan's on the heads and saying, "Enjoy my little child!" 

And we all are saying, "YES LORD!" 

Today after lunch we needed to be outside. Without coats and hats and gloves and 20 inches of snow. 

And I knew JUST the place to go!!

Easty was ready to go. He looked at me when I said, "Easty, we are going to the woods!" 

I knew he didn't really understand WHERE we were going...but he watched.

Lincoln was in my sling and all bundled up. He didn't make ONE peep while outside. Already, he's a fan of the great outdoors. With his name being LINCOLN HUNTER he really has no choice! 

Next to our house is a small patch of woods. We own it and have lived here over a year and I had not been in it. I can make all kinds of excuses. We moved in winter. I got pregnant. It was hot, muddy, and I'm afraid of skunks. 

But, those things were over. (except the skunk part.) And thanks to watching Bambi 20 times in the past week I know that 'all "Flowers" sleep in the winter.'

We crossed the dried up creek and headed into the woods. The moment we stepped in the woods I saw my little boy for who he really is.

He changed, right before my eyes. He grew up a bit. As if there was magic in the woods. It brought tears to my eyes to see my little boy on an adventure. We walked. And I was asking questions and talking. Showing him things. He didn't make a sound. As if Man Code's number 1 rule in the woods is:

 Thou shalt not talk.

He knew. 

In his little ways he knew. There was no teaching. 

It was born in him.

He explored and explored. At 1st I was the one to lead. Finding paths that were easiest for him. Most of the small trees and grass were too tall for him to get through without falling. But, he didn't cry. Or even complain. Every time he fell down (and let me tell you...those little roots and things are hard!) he just picked himself up and kept walking. Even without his usual "OH NO! I falled!" 

He didn't speak. But would look around...

and explore. 

And then, something changed. He went from following me to I followed him. Like he knew he's been in the woods before and he was worried I didn't know the way. I could see the look on his face. He knew he could find out house. He knew. 

And at that moment I realized something. I am a Mama of 2 boys. My little boys-even as young as they are right now-need adventure. They need times to feel brave. And need times to explore. Easton needed this walk in the woods for his soul-because he in a boy. He needs to be given time to explore the woods and climb trees because that is who he is. As a mom it's my job to create adventures for him--until he is big enough for his own. 

My little boy became a little man today.

A little man who knew which way to go. And have an adventure along the way. 

And when I looked at him at 21 months old walking around the woods owning it I saw his daddy. Because Wil is happiest in the woods. 

My little man even found a deer trail (on his own) and followed it out of the woods. 

And each time he fell down he got right back up...without saying a word. 

And when we came out of the woods he headed right back to the same spot we started and wanted to go again. 

Ready for his next adventure. 

And Linc was ready to follow!

Because, each boy needs their own adventure!