Sunday, November 15, 2009

Weekend to Remember

This weekend my husband and I attended Weekend to Remember through Family Life out of Little Rock, AR. OH man, did we have a GRAND time. Let me set the stage...

A getaway, just the two of us, in a Marriott Hotel. Lovely. A weekend, DIRECT focus on our marriage? Where do I sign? I LIVE for these weekends. Love EVERYTHING about them. Open communication...start sharing. I couldn't wait!

Call me dorky, or a teacher, but I LOVE getting "homework" to do when it comes to communication. LOVE.IT.

Fast forward to two hours ago, (I promise we WILL GO back!) I went online to the weekend to remember site and even clicked on the "AFTER THE CONFERENCE" link to see what I really needed to do. Yes, I did. They told me to journal about what I've learned so it sinks in deeper. PERFECT. Bring on blogger...that way, others can read my thoughts on this weekend.

So here we go!

Going back, to Friday night...they started us out with WHY MARRIAGES FAIL. ISOLATION VS. ONENESS. Kind of a depressing start, but worth learning about.

The next session was about CAN WE TALK? Oh man, I think I smiled through the whole thing. Cause this was and is everything I'm about when it comes to my marriage. I feel LOVED when Wil and I have deep conversations.

Basicly, there are 6 different communication styles. (You may have more than one!) Try to find yourself and post which one are you!

LAND THE PLANE! Just trying to find the shortest path to the goal. the goal!

ENJOY THE RIDE! Might as well relax adn enjoy the ride. The trip is what it's all about.

SHARING YOUR FEELINGS! They feel DEEPLY about what they communicate. Emotions are part of thinking.

JUST THE FACTS! Set aside emotions for logic, reason, and fact. Emotions interfere with good thinking.

THINKING OUT LOUD! They ask questions, make comments as soon as the thoughts occur...even when the other person happens to be talking at the time. Conversatoin is a group activity.

LET'S TAKE TURNS! Use the principle of justice and fair play to govern communication. First you talk, then I talk.

When it comes down to communication, you have two types...FACT and EMOTION.

What I learned through this is...Always respond to emotion WITH emotion, and fact with fact.

Meaning, if your spouse comes to you and starts talking FACT about something, RESPOND with FACT. If it's emotion they start with, respond with EMOTION. Not just, "Oh."

They did say, that most of us in marriage married the opposite of ourselves. For instance, Wil is a LAND THE PLANE communicator and I am a ENJOY THE RIDE communicator. I share more emotions...and he shares more fact. :)

So, WHEN that session was over, the FUN began! WE HAD a PROJECT! HOMEWORK for our marriage! OH man, living my dream! We had about 30 mins. to do our project. 1st we were NEAR each other, but had some individual questions to fill out and then, we had questions to ask our spouse and to talk about our dream for the weekend. Man, oh man, was this a dream time for me...BECAUSE, at the beginning of the session, they had us take 1 sec. to identify WHO was the TALKER in our relationship. (ME) They told us to have the TALKER to talk less and told the non talker to talk more. I LOVE IT!

The project was fun. I will say, that our 1st project was just kind of surfacey and facty. Basic. BUT, as the weekend went on...we got deeper and deeper.

After that, Friday night was over. Just like that. But what a great night it was!

Promise there will be more posts about Saturday and Sunday later. Right now, I just want to review my notes on Friday night and get the weekend's thoughts deep in my heart!


Mrs. Ria Thurston said...

ohhhh it sounds SO good! Love Communication & learning christian truths about it. I plan to major in Communication (corporate) but still it is SO facinating to me.
Love it - Keep it comin!

Ruth Ann said...

In my mind "we are doing this as a getaway EVERY YEAR!!" well if I am not breast feeding a baby!!! LOL.. What better investment than our marriage!!!

The MRS. said...

KEEP IT COMING!! I love these kinds of things and yes I can tell we are sisters with the "hw" assignments. =) I want to read more about this for Ike and I communication!!!

Child of the King said...

I so long to be able to afford to go to these once, wanted to for years! And people who know us well know we could use it! But thanks for sharing so that perhaps I can learn from your notes...

mrsfox said...

i am adopted. i hate hw assignments. :) lolololol.

but I dooooo love my marriage so why not? :)

glad you guys went. :) love you both

Rae Nolt said...

Beka...not SCHOOL homework. Marriage homework. So much more fun! Trust me...totally worth it!