Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Spark-less

I know.
2 posts in 2 days.
Is this a streak?
Who knows. But. I've got something to write...and my son is napping, and my Manly Man is working and can't listen.
So...I take the next big thing.
My Blog.

After 2 days of thinking and reflecting...I have figured something out about myself....
I am spark-less.
Now, don't jump all over and get worried. Don't call my mother.
It happens from time to time. And I have figured it out....

Let's go back....a year ago.

A year ago I was HERE. 
A TERRIBLE place to be. But, I recovered. And don't even miss my gall bladder.
After that, I let my creative juices start to flow. I found great deals on things and updated them and now have them in my house.

All fall and into winter I did this....Create. Create. Create.
I LOVE who I am when I am creating. Things come alive to me that I never thought would...and I LOVE it.

Then, in Nov. we moved to our NEW house.
MORE creating. I had to pick out paint and our great Master's team came and painted my whole house...from top to bottom. (and some great friends came too)

Christmas came.
MOOOOORE creating. I was in the kitchen baking.
Decorating my OWN house.
Enjoying Easton's 1st Christmas.
Making presents.
Wrapping presents.

And then...I got pregnant.

No, pregnancy isn't a bad thing. And we planned on getting pregnant. But, my body completely changes when I get pregnant.
I lose Spark.
I crave SLEEP.
I don't care.
I let things go {living room. kitchen. closets. crafts.}
Little things slide. {small things that build good qualities in my baby}
And, I lose myself.

Now, don't cry. It's just a season. Losing yourself can be hard...but I have learned in the past that I do find myself again. But it does take time.

And, it usually doesn't come back until 3 months after labor.
{Sigh}

But, it does come back.

It might even come back sooner...because today I realized that SOMETHING is MISSING.
And it's my SPARK.
Things that make me MORE creative.
More enjoyable.

I told my Manly Man today...(while he was listening) my head and heart are missing being creative...
My body is not. I'm just STILL too tired to start something new.
{Sigh}

And so...My talented SISTER and our BFF RUTH ANN and myself are taking a little GIRLS' WEEKEND GET AWAY. Well...kind of. A friend of ours is getting married in Mississippi. (The state...not the river...many get confused.) and my Sis is the Photographer for the wedding. I am coming along to hold my sweet new {and only} neice LIVIA while her mama works. And, Ruth Ann is coming---just because!

So, while there will be MUCH baby holding...and lazy days in Mississippi...I plan to FIND my spark.
I may even wander into a Jo Anns, or Hobby Lobby and just breathe.

So...next week if you see me painting flowers and rainbows on our house...I FOUND it...and just needed an outlet to create!

Oh...to create!


2 comments:

Stephanie M. Page said...

oh! Have a great get away! and yes, babies do things to us. We change- for a season. =)

megan said...

Hope this weekend goes well for you! Have fun!